Every single day I think of killing myself. Every single night. When I’m not thinking of my own death I’m trying to decide how many people I would hurt. The shock in their eyes as I take theirs, not mine. I never asked for much. All I’ve ever wanted was to be hugged and be told everything would be alright. Thats it. I’m forced to face my own smile, constantly being reminded of my sadness. At a point, you can’t distract yourself from depression, it starts to distract you. No amount of cuts, games or time around friends can change it. When it’s on your mind all of the time, I’m scared to talk because I’m afraid I’d slip something out amidst these thoughts. I’m so sick of it. Every person has a breaking point and I can’t even begin to count the cracks, soon I’ll just be a broken mirror. Reflecting the person I used to be. I know there are people worse off than me, I have no right to be so depressed but I can’t help it. I don’t want to trouble you anymore, not about me. I feel so angry with myself. I always thought that I would be happy if I was loved and when that somebody does, I can’t love them back, not the way they do. It hurts them just as much as it hurts me, sharper than any blade, deeper than any cut.